This week I have really allowed the devil to creep into my life and rip me apart. I have been so discouraged and my heart has been so heavy. This morning my husband preached a wonderful message and I sure needed it. I praise The Lord for his leading on his life and how tender he is to the things of The Lord. This past week I have not served with a servants heart and I have felt it in every part of my life.
"Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God." Colossians 3:22,
"Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; with good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men: knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free." Ephesians 6:6-8
This morning I was on my knees asking for The Lord's forgiveness. I am so blessed with all The Lord has given to me and this week my sight has been so clouded. My negativity, attitude and thoughts have been completely consumed by the devil that I have been so selfish and prideful. You may think as a Pastor's Wife I should never get this low, but I must say I am only human and we all have areas of weakness. I have allowed everything said to me to be negative instead of just thinking it to be a statement or whatever else it might have been. We have so much going on in the coming months for our ministry that I don't have time to feel like this, but it always seems to happen when you know God is at work and going to do amazing things. NBT (Neighborhood Bible Time), our 4th Annual Backyard BBQ, our Teen Ministry and just church in general. We all have times I guess in our lives where we allow a pity party to come over us and as women just the simple things of life become so petty.
I really felt led to share this from my heart because know matter who you are or what position you may be in, we all can be attacked by the devil. Everything spoke from my mouth was negative and I couldn't look at anything positive at all. As most of you know I am 6.5 months pregnant and could be one of those people that would do the normal thing and say, "I am hormonal and pregnant." I am sorry, but I think that is the lamest excuse ever and all I have to blame is myself not this wonderful, amazing little baby I have growing inside me. I have know one to blame, but myself and I am taking full responsibility for it. God has forgiven me and I feel like a whole new person.
Thank you for allowing me this time to vent and I am sorry I haven't posted in forever and all of sudden this is what you all have to listen to, but like I said...I am real and if we are all honest with ourselves the devil attacks us all by creeping into those back doors. I pray that if you are having trouble with this or something similar that you will realize what it is and ask The Lord for help, because you can talk to anyone, but you will never feel right until you leave it with the one who can really help you.
"Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you." 1 Peter 5:7
"That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:" 1 Peter 1:7
2 comments:
Thank you for being 'real.' Pastor's wife or lay woman, you still have highs and lows, and for me, it helps to vent. God bless and keep you and give you smiles and laughter for real today.
Thank you so much Linda. I have been filled with smiles as we have a short vacation as a family. I am looking forward to this time away to refocus and seek God all over again. Enjoy your day and God Bless!
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